Steve Jobs(圖:攝於2011/03/02)離職令人傷感。不知道幾百年前,世界少了Leonardo Da Vinci的時候,人們有甚麼感覺。Jobs與Da Vinci或不能比,但仍然是數十年難得一見的天才。
除了創意,還有積極的人生。電視重播他年前在Stanford畢業禮上演說的警句。網上的原文是:
"...(being fired from Apple) was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle..."
一句话,大难临头也要保持信心;不斷探求所愛,勿半途而廢,愛做才會贏。
當然,成功人士這樣說容易,一般人要做到不容易,弱者更會當作風涼話。
你要會考零分的人堅持尋找自己的愛好,他會說,找到又如何?我是很喜歡這種愛好,也一定會做得好,但有誰會因此而養活我嗎?
Jobs最終離開的那一天只怕不遠。讓我們現在就以他的話彼此勸勉:Never lose faith。再偉大的人也是要走的,而世界也一定會繼續運作。他/她的影響很快就會減到最輕。
無獨有偶,今午推拿師看我四肢的反應,猜測我遭到一種我從來沒有想過,雖然在老年人裡常見的致命病變。只不過我的情況極其輕微,遠遠說不上有危險。
誠然,私家醫生嚇人並不稀奇。但我年來是有一個症狀:口吃嚴重了。我以為年紀到了,還擔心癡呆。沒想到可能是一種更常見的病。此外跑步時,有時候覺得指尖麻。
但我並不驚慌。一來有宗教感或者說宿命,相信生死有命。人應該儘力,但並非所有儘力都能夠趨吉避凶。反過來,正如上述,英雄狗熊,好人壞人,偉人小人,都逃不過那天。Who am I. why the exception?一想通了,就處之泰然。只求到那天,能夠安然地離開。最怕的不是死,而是連累家人。
我大四時,特地拉我與他實驗和橋牌拍檔的中學和大學同窗,死於非命。以他的聰敏、出身、處世,出路一定遠勝我。但這就是命。後來,中學和大學同窗裡又有一個在留學期間自盡。
就說自然死亡吧。大學那四年有點撞邪,系內不止一個師生離世,同學自然都去致祭。似乎都是癌症。這在四十多年前可說是絕症。這也許都加強了我的宿命觀。基督教聖詩說,《神未曾應許天色常藍》,美國人說《I Never Promised You a Rose Garden》,都是同樣的意思。
如果真的是推拿師所說的病變,我想可能與我過去這一年的生活方式有關。
1. 換了一張電腦桌,改用桌下附帶的伸縮鍵盤台。鍵盤與滑鼠都放在伸縮台上,但鍵盤台不太配合椅子的高低,令手臂不能自然地下垂,而是長時間抬升屈曲。幾個月下來,導致血脈不通或者說clot。
2. 用電腦過多,每天遠遠超過10小時,而且中途休息不夠。這當然不健康,但世間的事做不完,總想多做些。今後要學會give and take。First, I can’t change the world. Secondly, if I have a serious problem, I am the one who is taking the pain. Others, no matter how close and how care, cannot sit in my chair.
Seeing this, 我從明天起轉換生活方式。 I will make walking or hiking the first thing in the morning before turning on the computer. And do some stretching as I walk. My right shoulder seems a little better in the last 2 days or so. I will make up to her for my abuses in the last few months.